Religious philosophies in a nutshell

Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.

Protestantism: Shit won´t happen if I work harder

Sionism: Why does this shit always happen to me?

Buddhism: When this shit happens, is it really shit?

Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage

Hinduism: This shit happened before

Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong

Rastafarianism: Let´s smoke this shit